top of page

How to Encourage Positive Behaviour in Children: Tips and Strategies

As a parent or caregiver, it's natural to want to encourage positive behaviour in children. Positive behaviour sets the foundation for good decision-making, builds self-esteem, and helps children thrive in a variety of social situations. However, encouraging positive behaviour can be challenging, especially when children are young and still learning about the world around them. In this article, we'll explore some tips and strategies for encouraging positive behaviour in children that you can apply in your daily life.

Model Positive Behaviour

Children learn by watching the behaviour of the adults around them. Therefore, modelling positive behaviour is one of the most effective ways to encourage children to behave positively. If you want your child to be kind, respectful, and polite, you must model those behaviours yourself. Be mindful of your behaviour around your child, as they are constantly watching and learning from you.

Provide Positive Reinforcement

Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool for encouraging positive behaviour in children. Positive reinforcement involves praising and rewarding children for displaying positive behaviours. For example, if your child shares a toy with a sibling, you can praise them for being kind and generous. Positive reinforcement can be as simple as saying "great job" or "I'm proud of you," or it can involve a more tangible reward, such as a small treat or extra playtime.

Set Clear Expectations

Children need to know what is expected of them to behave positively. Therefore, setting clear expectations is essential. Be clear about what behaviours are acceptable and unacceptable, and explain why certain behaviours are important. For example, you might explain that hitting is not acceptable because it hurts others and can damage relationships. Make sure your child knows the consequences of negative behaviour and follow through on those consequences consistently.

Use Positive Language

The language you use when communicating with your child can have a significant impact on their behaviour. Using positive language can help children feel good about themselves and encourage positive behaviour. For example, instead of saying "don't run," you can say "please walk." Using positive language helps children understand what they should do instead of what they should not do.

Use Time-Outs Effectively

Time-outs can be an effective way to discourage negative behaviour. When your child misbehaves, explain why their behaviour is not acceptable and then provide a time-out. Time-outs should be brief (1-2 minutes per year of age) and should be used consistently. Time-outs are not punishment, but rather a time for children to calm down and reflect on their behaviour. After the time-out, you can talk to your child about why their behaviour was not acceptable and what they can do differently next time.

Encourage Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Encouraging empathy in children can help them develop positive relationships and behave positively towards others. You can encourage empathy by helping your child understand the feelings of others. For example, you might say "How do you think your sister feels when you take her toy?" or "How would you feel if someone did that to you?" Encouraging empathy helps children develop a sense of compassion and respect for others.

Focus on the Positive

It's easy to get caught up in negative behaviour and discipline, but focusing on the positive can be more effective in encouraging positive behaviour. Instead of constantly correcting your child's negative behaviour, focus on catching them being good. Praise and reward positive behaviour when you see it, and your child will be more likely to repeat that behaviour in the future.

Encourage Independence

Encouraging independence can help children develop a sense of responsibility and self-esteem. Provide opportunities for your child to make decisions and take on responsibilities appropriate for their age. For example, you might let your child choose their own clothes or help with simple household tasks like setting the table. Encouraging independence helps children feel capable and competent, which can encourage positive behaviour.

Practice Consistency

Consistency is key when it comes to encouraging positive behaviour in children. Children thrive on routine and predictability, so it's important to set clear expectations and follow through consistently. If your child knows what to expect and what is expected of them, they will be more likely to behave positively. Inconsistency can lead to confusion and frustration for children, which can result in negative behaviour.

Be Patient and Understanding

Encouraging positive behaviour in children takes time and patience. Children are still learning about the world around them and are not always able to regulate their emotions and behaviour. It's important to be patient and understanding when your child makes mistakes or displays negative behaviour. Use these moments as opportunities for teaching and learning, rather than punishment or shame. Children who feel understood and supported are more likely to behave positively in the future.


Encouraging positive behaviour in children is an ongoing process that requires patience, consistency, and understanding. By modelling positive behaviour and following the rest of the advice listed above, you can help your child develop into a well-behaved, confident, and respectful individual. Remember that every child is unique, and what works for one child may not work for another. Be flexible and willing to adjust your approach as needed to encourage positive behaviour in your child.

1 Comment

Mummy Conquering Anxiety
Mummy Conquering Anxiety
Apr 03, 2023

Great tips. We try and incorporate all of this into our parenting, but it can be challenging

bottom of page